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Al-Ahram Weekly 10 - 16 August 2000 Issue No. 494 
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Published in Cairo by AL-AHRAM established in 1875 |
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Al-Ahram Weekly 10 - 16 August 2000 Issue No. 494
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| Published in Cairo by AL-AHRAM established in 1875 |
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Egypt Region International Economy Opinion Culture Books Travel Living Sports Profile People Time Out Chronicles Cartoons Allo, allo, allo
By Fayza Hassan
The telephone rang late in the evening. It had just been repaired, and I was still getting a kick out of hearing its clear sound after the days of silence. The voice at the other end was not unfamiliar, but I was unable to put a name to it.
"Madame Fayza, this is George."
"Yes..."
"Madame Fayza, what are you doing to me?"
"..."
"I have done nothing wrong, Madame Fayza. Did I not work until 3.00am to install your computer? Did I not bring you a brand-new modem, better than the first, when yours did not work? And what did you do? Instead of thanking me, you have been maligning me in your newspaper!"
"Mr George, I am so happy that you are back," I managed to interject. "So many things have happened..."
"Madame Fayza, I do not care what happened. Your computer is no longer my responsibility. I have done my job and done it well and you have not yet signed the maintenance contract. Why do you badmouth me in your newspaper?"
"I didn't, Mr George, I only said..."
"I know exactly what you said. I can read, and it was not nice to make fun of a poor hardworking man like me. What am I supposed to do now? How can I show my face to my clients?"
"But Mr George, I did not mention your full name! Nobody will know..."
How is that, Madame Fayza? Everyone who owns a computer in Cairo, in Egypt even, knows Mr George. Do you know what they call me? George 'the Diamond' Computer. No one will be fooled and I will be ruined. You could have insulted me to my face, this I would understand, told me to take back the computer. You could have gone to the competition. They would not give you any satisfaction, I can assure you, Madame Fayza, but you could have done that. But you chose to wait for my back to be turned and you stabbed me."
"Mr George, I am sorry, I was desperate, I had to go to the telephone exchange several times, they were claiming I had not paid my international bill, they cut the line off without telling me..."
"You don't pay your international bill and you want me to bear the consequences? That is not very nice, Madame Fayza."
"But if you read what I have written carefully, you would notice that I did not accuse you of anything."
"Not directly, Madame Fayza, but many people can read between the lines and now they think that it is the excellent modem I gave you that caused the trouble. You know, I did not buy this modem for you originally, it was for a dear client of mine who appreciates me, but when your modem did not work, I sacrificed my friend's best interest, and what did I get in return?"
"It was not the modem, Mr George, it was a piece of wire that someone planted in one of my flower pots..."
"Madame Fayza I am not interested in where you choose to plant your leftover telephone wire, I don't care if you cut it in small pieces, brew it, and drink it as a potion. All I care about is my lost reputation. I want you to make amends, Madame Fayza."
"I am sorry, Mr George, really I did not mean to make fun of you, I respect you very much and your computer is fantastic."
"What? You are sorry? Do you think I am going to let it go at that, a few words on the phone between you and me? Incidentally, I am calling you from my cell phone and this conversation is not cheap, but I wanted to show you that I am not after the money. I don't cheat my clients, you have come highly recommended by your brother who is a Monsieur, and I thought that you were a society lady like the others I deal with. I never imagined that I would see my name dragged through the papers after all I have done for you and your family. Believe me, Madame Fayza, I am not a vindictive person and I was intending to give you the best service available, but you have destroyed the good relationship that I was hoping we would have. Why, I had placed you on the top of my list."
At this point, I was unable to remember what exactly I had written about Mr George, but even in my confusion I was certain that it could not have been that bad, so I asked him to come over. We would look at the offending article and see what had so displeased him. I would explain. I really did not want Mr George to be upset, since I would probably be needing him on a regular basis, now that I was becoming addicted to my new computer.
"No Madame Fayza, this is too easy. I don't want you to kiss my head and say you are sorry, I want an official apology in your newspaper. You were able to ruin my reputation, surely you understand that you must restore it now."
It suddenly dawned on me that Mr George did not know a word of English. How could he have read what I had written? Besides, the caller had a pronounced Greek accent and Mr George was a Copt from Aswan... My brother-in-law, on the other hand, was known for his telephone pranks and he was just back from the States.
"Maxie..." I ventured and heard a huge burst of laughter. My entire family, in Agami for the weekend, had participated in this little caper and were having a lovely time quoting to each other all the lame excuses I had offered "Mr George."
