Al-Ahram Weekly On-line   Al-Ahram Weekly On-line
12 - 18 October 2000
Issue No. 503
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Here, fishy fishy

By Injy El-Kashef

It had been some time since we had enjoyed a truly delicious meal. We had begun to yearn for that happy feeling following incontestably good food. And so we headed for Le Pacha, where we thought the odds would probably be on our side. Upon the third floor is a restaurant called River Boat (how creative) where, we heard, you could get excellent fish and sea food.

We were pleased to see lots and lots of diners, almost as many waiters and a fish freezer with nothing particularly exciting (no shark fins, no sea cucumbers, no octopi, no sea monsters nicely vacuum-packed) but everything looking fresh. We chose our seat as far from the shishas as possible and ended up with an excellent view of the Nile and, better still, of the oven where the baladi bread is baked. "This looks quite promising, doesn't it, love?" "Absolutely."

The menus arrived -- first brush with reality. Tehina for LE10.50?

French Fries for LE9? LE75 minimum per person? This better be good, or we'll get very annoyed. There are many options on the menu, but we went straight to the fish section where we were informed that we must go and choose our fish by weight (and by looks, certainly). Bo-ring. It's been a long day, we're exhausted, we just want to sit here quietly and have everything decided, cooked, and brought to us. Can't one rely on anybody anymore? Must one do everything oneself? It's not fun as people think to pick your fish while it's still buried in ice, grey, cold, dead and in possession of big glassy eyes. Personally, I'd rather skip it and see my fish brought back to life from its stay in the oven, the grill or the frying pan.

A one-kilo grouper (waqqar) cooked sengari-style (LE74.75) made its way to our table following the fried calamari (LE30.50) and the 300g (eight units) of shrimps (LE49.50). The calamari were excellent -- actually tender, not the consistency of silicone rubber -- and the batter was deliciously spiced. It also helped that they came piping hot and not reheated in the microwave oven. Now, the shrimps were, in a nutshell, bland and ordinary. They were big, yes, but that's not the chef's doing (I hope). Although they were grilled, which helps them retain their flavour, they did not have the powerful taste of well-seasoned shrimps. Along their back, where the line of black dirt sits, was a dodgy thick green line which looked rather alarming. It turned out to be an innocent and useless blend of seasoning. "This is yum, isn't it?" "Yeah!"

Now for the fish and the accompanying rice: the rice was far better than expected (with fried onions and calamari strips) but the fish quite the opposite. Although it was well-cooked, it manifested the same symptoms: it suffered an acute case of blandness, just like its shrimp brethren. Besides, it lacked salt and its jaw was too obvious for comfort. "Wow, this is great stuff, right?" "It's amazing. No wonder it's so expensive."

For dessert, my husband had Nougatine (LE16.50) and I had the most atrocious cup of chocolate mousse (LE9.50). This was not only an instant mix, but an expired one too, as far as I could taste. We both shared his Nougatine because that's what a good husband does: he splits his dessert with his wife when hers is disgraceful. "Even the desserts are brilliant." "Just what we wanted."

We paid a huge bill and headed home, not excited, not perky, not happy, just full. "How was your dinner, guys?" "Expensive." "I bet it was awesome." "Yeah, the tahina was very good."

River Boat, Le Pacha 1901, Saray Al-Gezira St, Zamalek. Tel: 735 6730

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