Al-Ahram Weekly On-line 16 - 22 November 2000 Issue No.508
Published in Cairo by AL-AHRAM established in 1875

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Assault tactics

By Injy El-Kashef

Surely we have all, at one point or another, been subjected to the deeply distressing experience of a complete stranger suddenly and unexpectedly thrusting a piece a paper into our face, be it through an open car window or at even closer range if we're walking down the street. Every time this has happened to me I have had to restrain myself physically to avoid yelling "Brute!" I could never quite understand how anyone considered it acceptable to violate such basic human rights as that of a peaceful involvement in a traffic jam or a relaxing stroll through sardine-packed streets.

In Mohandessin the other day, my husband and I were nicely window-shopping when someone stuffed a piece of paper in my bag. Before contacting Interpol we thought it might be wiser to examine the note first, as anyone who's recently watched The Man Who Knew Too Much probably would have done. It was an invitation by Steers to receive a free gift with any sandwich. Why resort to such suspicious means when the intentions are so good? It escapes me.

We accepted their invitation and ordered four different sandwiches as we were starving and fast food usually leaves you as hungry a few minutes after you've finished eating as you were half an hour before you ever started. What we didn't know is that with every sandwich you also get a free Coke and fries. So there we were, two people and a dozen trays piled with food, looking like real pigs with huge grins on their faces. We were grateful that the place was almost entirely empty, except for a dodgy-looking solo male diner (you know, the kind not only your mother, but the entire neighbourhood, has warned you about).

We started with the Hero Hot Dog. I'm always curious about dogs in Cairo because, frankly, they never taste like real dogs. Nor did this one. It was too hard and bland and needed mustard, not ketchup as more and more people seem to think. Next we moved to the Grilled Chicken Sandwich, which was rather good (given the circumstances) and very well spiced; it did not even require any assistance from any sauce or additional aids. The Steer Burger was also good but so soggy that my hand, of its own accord, began searching my bag for my son's bib. That is not to say we did not enjoy it, only that it may be more respectable to eat it in the privacy of one's home, preferably over the kitchen sink.

Last but certainly not least is our favourite, the best, the one and only Herrrooo Mushroom Steak Rolllll (let's hear it for the roll). It is made of real steak (never saw a thinner slice, but maalesh), grilled on real fire, with thick, meaty chunks of mushrooms. Recommended in a fast food situation. Another plus for Steers is that their fries look and taste homemade, not like fast food. They are thick, short, light and a little oily. But better despite the hype, if you know what I mean.

Now the uncontested winners of this meal were the Cinnamon Swirls (or Twists, can't remember). These are so excellent that a) I can't imagine life without them; b) I took another two orders home after devouring both mine and my poor husband's sur place; c) you hide them from yourself so you can't get to, and finish, them too soon. How's that for fast food? All for LE40.

Steers, 10 Zamalek Sporting Club (Gam'at Al-Duwal Al-Arabiya St.), Mohandessin.
Tel: 303 5002/ 302 4401

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