4 - 10 January 2001
Issue No.515
|
Al-Ahram Weekly On-line 4 - 10 January 2001 Issue No.515 |
||
| Published in Cairo by AL-AHRAM established in 1875 | Current issue | Previous issue | Site map | ||
Unwelcome proposal
Since the end of Ramadan there has been a great deal of talk about weddings, as there is every year. Many young girls I know can't wait to tie the knot, the sooner the better they seem to say. I am always quite surprised at their eagerness. It has apparently become the fashion to hurry up and marry young, have a couple of children and get it over with. The advantage of such a formula is that one can contemplate with equanimity the possibility of fitting more than one such momentous event into one's life.
In my days, girls were coyer. We swore to each other that we would never settle for the fate our mothers accepted; we were going to have serious careers and certainly not spend the best days of our lives changing diapers. Few stuck to this decision for long, however. Most of us were soon doing exactly what we had said we wouldn't and loving every minute of it, with a clear conscience to boot, since we had put up a semi-honest resistance before finally yielding. It was moreover quite satisfying to remind one's spouse, whenever he had a mind to complain, that he had been the one to insist on the marriage in the first place.
From my graduating class, only Salwa in fact remained true to her word and never married. She came from a conservative family that had set traditions, and that usually chose spouses originally from the same village and with the same background.
After the families had agreed on the match, the prospective groom would call on his future bride with his mother. The girl, hiding behind a curtain separating the living quarters from the reception room, would have time to observe the young man. If she liked what she saw, she would carry the tea tray into the room, making sure to display as much of her features as decency allowed. She would then sit with the guests silently, her eyes modestly lowered. It would now be the turn of the future groom to play his part and express his agreement by placing an envelope containing a symbolic sum of money -- commensurate with his fortune and his eagerness to wed -- on the tray. Soon after, the visitors would take their leave, promising to visit again.
Salwa looked at the whole ceremony with lofty amusement and took pleasure in frustrating her parents. For several years, she simply sent the servant out with the tea tray while she played her records loudly in her room. Finally at a loss, her mother begged her to accept the son of her own best friend. Salwa was almost 30 and the boy was really doing her a favour, the older woman implied. Salwa promised to bring in the tray.
In the afternoon, her mother advised her to wear a modest dress and abstain from putting any makeup on, since this was not approved of in the groom's family. Actually his mother had often described Salwa's dresses as "osées".
The girl seemed to acquiesce and her mother left her to prepare herself, secure in the belief that her daughter had finally decided to listen to reason.
Salwa did not need to hide in order to observe her suitor. She had seen him several times and disliked him intensely. When she made her entrance carrying the tea tray and heard the combined gasp of her mother and the visitors, she felt vindicated and her rage at being displayed like merchandise offered to a prospective buyer vanished. This was going to be fun.
Her face disguised under the heavy coat of makeup she had so generously applied, she wore the mini-skirt she had been hiding from her mother. Her long legs were bare and her shirt showed as much flesh as she had been able to manage. Bending down to place the tray on the table, she paused a few seconds to allow her prospective mother-in-law a full view of her décolleté, whereupon, rising slowly, she winked alluringly at the dumbfounded young man and went to sit on a low stool opposite him. Appalled, his mother hurriedly presented Salwa with one the small pillows decorating the couch, indicating that she should hide her legs with it. Chatting gaily, the young woman passed the pillow on to her mother. Three more pillows were channeled the same way, before mother and son got the message. Salwa was sent off to the US for her PhD two months later. In her early 60s now, she has remained happily unmarried all her life.
© Copyright Al-Ahram Weekly. All rights reserved
 |
|
|||||||||||||||||
| ARCHIVES Letter from the Editor Editorial Board Subscription Advertise! |
WEEKLY ONLINE: www.ahram.org.eg/weekly Updated every Saturday at 11.00 GMT, 2pm local time weeklyweb@ahram.org.eg |
 Al-Ahram Organisation |
