22 - 28 February 2001
Issue No.522
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Al-Ahram Weekly On-line 22 - 28 February 2001 Issue No.522 |
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End of the line
In a society built on close family ties and mutual support, it's not hard to find a willing ear. What may be impossible is finding the right one. An estimated one million people across the globe kill themselves every year; millions more try, either unsuccessfully, or as a cry for help.
While there are no official statistics on suicide rates in Egypt, specialists suggest that many people have had difficulty adapting to abrupt social changes and the harsh demands of modern life. Individual-oriented careers and the quest for money and success have lessened the importance of social ties and cut many people off from the support of their communities.
Nasser Loza, a psychiatric consultant at Behman Hospital, suggests that a more fast-paced daily life has driven many people to become egoists, transforming them into "robots in a material world." In such conditions, says Loza, social relations become a luxury, and an increasingly large number of Egyptians are feeling lonely -- even suicidal. "People focus on their problems, blowing them out of proportion, and then find it difficult to look to the future."
Said Abdel-Azim, head of the faculty of psychology at Cairo University, estimates that the number of Egyptians who actually commit suicide is quite small, but he agrees with Loza that many may suffer from deep bouts of depression and consider suicide. These people can benefit from having someone to talk to -- someone they can trust, but who won't judge them or lecture them; just offer a chance to unload their fears and anxieties.
Befrienders International is just such an outlet. A British NGO with 41 centres worldwide, the organisation is dedicated to training local staff to man an emergency hotline fielding calls from people with nowhere else to turn. People have questioned if such a service is necessary in a country like Egypt, and admittedly the Befrienders Egypt branch saw many a slow day when it was first set up seven years ago. The only service of its kind in the Arab world, evidence suggests that the slow start was not from lack of need, but rather because insufficient funds did not permit the organisation to advertise its service effectively.
But Befrienders Egypt is no ad hoc community project; the organisation is registered with the Ministry of Social Affairs and has among its staff a number of specialists and doctors. Volunteers come from all types of background -- journalists, school teachers, bankers, engineers and housewives. They are meticulously screened and strictly trained to handle the delicate emotional states of callers. "Our main goal is to keep the candles that are already burning still lit; to help desperate people take decisive steps towards solving their problems," explains Hazem Rashed, co-director of Befrienders Egypt.
Naturally, helping people with serious problems forge the will to find solutions is no easy task. Volunteers are taught to hold back their own opinions and listen to what people are asking for -- in most cases, this is simply an honest ear and a pledge of confidentiality. In other words, many people just want to know that someone is out there listening. By definition, the organisation is apolitical, non-judgmental, completely confidential -- and free.
Becoming a volunteer is a rigorous process, starting with a series of interviews with board members, who assess the candidate's abilities and demeanour. If the candidate is accepted into the programme, they enter a three-month training programme taught by experienced volunteers. New staff members are encouraged to listen closely, offer their support and refrain from imposing their own social or religious mores. "A volunteer must control the urge to talk, comment, tell a story or offer advice," explained Rashed. "The idea is to listen, not just to what the caller is sharing, but to the feelings that lie behind the facts. The effort must be made to understand things from the caller's perspective, and not from one's own standpoint."
Loza stresses that people who call are not mentally disturbed, noting that "they are not suffering from any psychological disease," they just need to be taken seriously. Loza drives this point home by relating an experience from earlier in his career. A cancer patient had been told by his doctors that he was only expected to live for another six months. He came to Loza upset and suicidal and wanted to know if he was suffering from any clinical depression. It was obvious that his problems were not the result of any psychological disease, but when Loza explained this to him, the patient became reticent and refused to discuss anything further. The next day, he killed himself.
The lesson in this story, says Loza, is that a person in this state of mind does not need a prognosis from a psychologist, he needs someone to offer support and reassurance. The obvious implication is that the right kind of service can be life-saving, but the flip side, warns Cairo University's Abdel-Azim, is that no matter how noble one's intentions, a poor or unprofessional response could be disastrous. Chatting with an emotionally distraught person is no easy task, he said. "Such services need to be supervised and controlled by a skilled psychiatrist and a resident social worker."
There are 35 volunteers, 75 per cent of them Egyptian, manning three lines at the Befrienders hotline office in Mohandessin. Perhaps one of the most crucial shortcomings in the initiative is that the availability of the hotline is still limited: from 9.00a.m. to 1.00p.m. Monday through Thursday and from 5.00p.m. to 9.00p.m. Friday through Sunday. "We hope that the service hours will eventually increase. Our only obstacle is a lack of volunteers," said Rashed.
Recalling the early years, when Befrienders launched in Egypt, Rashed says that days would pass without the phone ringing once. Today, the average is 20 to 30 calls per day. People ring in with problems ranging from one man's regret at having blackmailed his former lover, to a girl haunted by the secret that her uncle continually rapes her. Elderly people feeling lonely and people with terminal illnesses have also found their way to Befrienders.
"It may not sound like much, but it can make the difference between life and death," said Rashed. "People who feel suicidal do not want answers or solutions. They want a way to express their fears and anxieties that is safe and gives them a chance to be themselves."
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