Al-Ahram Weekly Online
4 -10 April 2002
Issue No.580
Published in Cairo by AL-AHRAM established in 1875 Current issue | Previous issue | Site map

The real thing?

Alaa Shahine explores the pros and cons of e-motions and discovers it is a world of its own

"Cocadodo," is the Internet nickname of an 18- year-old Egyptian girl who studies commerce at Cairo University and lives in the district of Mohandessin -- and that is all that you will learn about her on the net.

Blue Rose is the chat-room name of a 19- year-old female art student from Damanhur. More forthcoming than Cocadodo, Blue Rose directs her curious cyber friends to a Web site where she has posted her photo, and gives out personal information to "trustworthy people." "I have five or six close friends on the Internet," she said. "I used to know more people on the net, but then my personal database was hacked by a person I was chatting with. That made me a little more reticent about meeting new people in chat-rooms."

"Cyber friend" is a relatively new term in the Egyptian pop lexicon to denote friends who interact only over the Internet. "No, I've never met any of them," said Blue Rose, "Although I've known some of them for more than a year now."

With roughly 1.2 million Internet users in Egypt according to a recent report by the Ministry of Communications, cyber relationships are becoming more prevalent among people of all ages, but are especially popular among teenagers. Says Mustafa Fawzi, who used to run a cyber café in Mohandessin, "Most users ran chat programmes. True, there were people using the Internet for other purposes as well, but most of them would have instant-messaging programmes opened while they did other work," he added.

However, since the Internet came to be used as a tool for social interaction several years ago, experts and analysts have been debating the pros and cons of online relationships on people's social lives. Some argue that the Internet has the potential to cause social isolation, leading people to neglect genuine social relationships, as they hunker down alone over their terminals and engage in superficial communication with anonymous strangers. Others suggest that the Internet leads to better social relationships by breaking down geographical barriers and allowing people to gradually get to know one another before actually meeting.

"For psychologically balanced people, such a milieu could be a good start for proper face-to- face relationships. Chatting on the Internet can serve as a warm-up period before both parties meet in real life," argues Khalil Fadel, an Egyptian psychiatrist and member of the London Royal Psychiatrists College. If people interacting on the net are honest about themselves, such communication can provide a good basis for a real relationship, suggested Fadel.

However, like Cocadodo and Blue Rose, many Internet users, and especially female ones, prefer to keep their online relationships virtual.

Fadel believes that a tendency to keep Internet relationships superficial might also be attributed to psychological reasons. For people who suffer from social anxiety, for example people who feel that they are physically unattractive, interacting at a remove might help them to be more forthcoming about their identity and character. However, he warned that for some, the Internet could become a crutch that actually heightens people's social anxiety concerning interacting face-to-face.

To illustrate his point, Fadel said, "I am treating a guy who suffers from affective [mood] disorder. One of his problems is that he is not very good-looking, which caused him to have difficulties in his relationships with the opposite sex. Consequently, he chose the computer and the Internet as his alternate world, where nobody would see him."

Although many of the users I met were aware of such pitfalls, they were eager to mention reasons that made the Internet attractive for them. Chatting over the net gives them the freedom to talk about issues that they do not have the courage to discuss in real life, or with the same freedom. Such topics include politics, religion, love and sex. Visiting Web sites offering free electronic greeting cards one is amazed by the proliferation of e-cards pertaining to "Internet love."

Moreover, the Internet gives people a sense of controlling their social world. "On the net, if I think that the person I am chatting with is not trustworthy or disagreeable, I can kick him out of my world by pressing a button, while in real life, it is not as easy," said Blue Rose, sending me a smiley face.

Fadel cautions against such escapism, warning that hanging out on the net could put people at risk of mental illness. When people become more focused on objects than human beings, Fadel warned, depression can follow.

But cyber friendship clearly has its charms because, denizens of chat-rooms are not showing any signs of giving up their haunts.

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