Restaurant review:

Love all .. and then some!

Populism took an extra bite of the proverbial cheese

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The 1960s came back flooding like a suppressed adolescent memory. When baby boomers in America were just beginning to appreciate Rob Orbison and Elvis Presley, we in Cairo were hooked on to Abdel-Halim Hafez. One of Abdel-Halim's best filmed songs was about the inauguration of the Aswan dam, called the High Dam, to differentiate it from a smaller one downstream. Back then, the rift was just beginning to form between two waves of populism that were to define the region to this day. The two waves met with a crash in 1967, and the rest is history, which you can now savour with irony and perfectly cooked French fries.

I am sitting with the Brunette and the Intellectual at the most authentic American eatery in Cairo, looking from behind tall gothic windows at the Nile. Only two people dared change the river's course. One is Khedive Ismail in 1865, the other is Gamal Abdel-Nasser, almost exactly a century later. I don't see the Intellectual often these days. He is always in dialogues. East and West, Islam and Christianity, secularism and tribalism, US versus everyone, us (lowercase with a noisy click) versus everyone, from Rio to Johannesburg, from Dubai to DC, earth summits, heaven summits, earth meets heaven summit, name it. Lately, he has been more on TV than at my dinner table, which I don't like, because the Brunette orders expensive food, and he fights better than me for the check.

The tables at the Hard Rock Café are covered with a chequered blue and white plastic cloth. The chairs in the seating area near the windows are the old style coffeehouse type, my favourite. There is a booth-style seating area near the bar and a wide dance floor in the middle. The ceilings are high, and there are eight television sets, from which Roy Orbison sings, in unison. "Pretty woman, won't you pardon me. Pretty woman, I couldn't help but see. Pretty woman, and you look lovely as can be. Are you lonely just like me."

I am not lonely, but I couldn't help but see. The waitresses are dressed in mini-skirts. Black, short, cute, it- is-sunny-today, perhaps-I-will-go-skate-in-Central-Park skirts. They are young, efficient, helpful, even cheerful, but they ain't going skating today or any other day. Not if today is a sunny day, not if tomorrow is scorching hot -- and not all the summits of dialogue can do anything about it. Those who tried to ban Ruby from television may just be lurking in dark alleys as these girls hop up the minibus back home. Sorry, Orbison. You want'em, we'll wrap'em first.

The entries are a rich selection of Western hemisphere cooking. The three of us have been to the Sharm outlet a few times before and loved it. The salads and appetisers come in two options, full and half-size. Usually the half-size is enough for a full-size person. My half- sized nachos are a good accompaniment for the afternoon beer. The Brunette takes a cheeseburger that can hold its own with the best. The Intellectual, disoriented from frequent travel, gets a salad involving grilled chicken and an Asian dressing and, although it is not their best, he is happy to be home. We've tried the mixed alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks before and never sent one back.

The Hard Rock Café chain opened its first venue in London in 1971. Eleven years later, under various owners, it began its global gastronomic and cultural crusade, under slogans that can make the cheese on the burgers blush like a virgin climbing a minibus in a short skirt. "Love all .. Serve all," is emblazoned in big golden letters over the bar. Beside it is the trademark Cadillac. Only this time it is the trademark of our own brand of populism. The 1967 Cadillac hanging from the ceiling once belonged to President Nasser.

Hard Rock Café, (02) 532 1277, Grand Hyatt Hotel (formerly Meridian), Garden City, open noon till 3am, offers genuine American cuisine in a pan-American and anti-American ambiance. Lunch for three, LE170.

By Nabil Shawkat