Restaurant review:

Don't try this

Gamal Nkrumah revels in the Eastern promise of an upmarket Cairene Lebanese restaurant

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The ostensibly Lebanese restaurant Al-Dabka is not about Lebanese food. It is essentially about catering for a well-heeled clientele. Al-Dabka is not exactly for connoisseurs of fine food. And a word of warning, Al- Dabka is not particularly suitable for connubial outings either.

I won't waste too many words describing the optical pleasures to be had in Al-Dabka. It is to put it simply a feast for the eyes.

There is something irresistible beneath the glitzy exterior. The appeal of the restaurant has more to do with its larger than life interior than with its menu.

The restaurant takes its name after the Lebanese dance Al-Dabka -- stomping. I suspect that this particular eatery is far more exciting in the evenings than in the early afternoons which is when I took my two sons to Al-Dabka for a quick lunch. The kids stomped around noisily much to the consternation of the waiters who nevertheless stood stoically in attendance. The problem was that once we ordered, they were no where to be found -- both kids and waiters, that is.

The food, though, was a sore disappointment. It is as if its Lebanese roots have long since withered. We imagined that we were going to be treated to authentic Lebanese dishes, but we weren't.

Lebanese I am not. We won't get into a discussion here about my love or otherwise of the Land of the Phoenicians and their ingenious descendants.

Traditional Lebanese mezzah, however, is an exciting assortment of mouth-watering dishes. Cold mezzahs, primarily pastes and salads, compete with hot mezzahs for the prospective eaters' attention. Often, no main dish is required. The mezzahs are in themselves so enjoyable and filling that one does not even fancy dessert.

It was a delicious prospect. The right mix of Lebanese mezzah, or starters, is a delectable meal in itself.

If we are what we eat and drink, the Lebanese would be the world's healthiest people after the Japanese.

Lebanese cuisine now has a global fan-base -- principally wherever you find the Lebanese Diaspora. But, it doesn't stop there. There is more than a faddish interest in Lebanese food in the West. And, in Cairo this new interest in Lebanese food has not gone unnoticed.

It is not just hip Lebanese who are drawn to Al- Dabka -- Saudis and other Gulf Arabs frequent this plush eatery. And, they tend to regard it as an obligatory stopping-off point on the Cairo fashion beat in much the same way as they look upon, say the Marriott gardens, Zamalek.

Indeed, the menu is designed specifically to lure the Arabians. The traditional aromatic Arabian coffee seasoned with cardamom and rose water, for example, is a house specialty.

Al-Dabka is ostentatious: tinkling fountains and heart-stopping marble and earth-toned tilework. Eye- catching decor apart, the service was bad. The waiters were polite, but unhelpful. they readily smile and rarely deliver on time.

The Yalanji, vegetarian stuffed vine leaves soaked in olive oil, was bland. The taboula, ordinarily my favourite Lebanese dish, was bitter. Taboula, a parsley, tomato, onion and burghul -- or cracked wheat -- was drenched in the most sickening oil. The kebbeh, an oval ball of minced meat and cracked wheat stuffed with pine seeds, was revolting.

The kawerma bel beid was barely edible, and the halloumi mashwi -- grilled Lebanese goat cheese was just about the only palatable dish on offer.

The bread came cold and tasteless, at once both gooey and dry. I promptly requested that the bread be warmed up. I still found the bread unpalatable, but the boys digged in. They were starving, I suppose.

Al-Dabka restaurant, (02) 267 7730, (02) 267 7740, Sheraton Heliopolis, Uruba Street, open 2pm to 1am. Lunch for two adults and two kids, LE189.