My shining star
Moushira Abdel-Malek, the wife of our newspaper's late founding editor, Hosny Guindy, pays a eulogy to him
Four years today had passed, and the sorrow which seems too hard to bear, deep down grinding my heart with grief, is still constantly causing me excruciating pain. With full apprehension of the fact that good-byes are the law of earth, I am unable to accept the radical change that since his departure had shaken my equilibrium, rendering me into a bundle of ambivalent emotions that have become consistently inconsistent.
In other words; events occur; pleasant and unpleasant. How can I be happy with the former without him? Then with the latter; I somehow feel glad he has been spared the ordeal of witnessing unpleasant events. Be that as it may, the outcome is that he is not there to share either. Neither with me, nor with Yasmeen; our only daughter and our greatest achievement.
Yasmeen was led to the altar. Alas, he was not there to witness this heavenly conjugal union. Then she gave birth a month ago to Hannah; a beautiful little angel, our granddaughter which he and I had often dreamt of together, and who, like her mother, would have become his only joy, and the sole desire of his heart. But his heart beats no more. And, I desperately miss him, like I have never missed anyone in my entire life, especially during such milestone events.
We used to think, dream, desire and pray together. Losing him is more painful than losing an eye or a nose, an arm or a leg. Yes, like a limb that has been amputated and one has to learn how to live without. Is it because he was not an ordinary man? An extraordinary husband and father... son and brother... professor and friend? Or is it because of all the values he had lived for, and the virtues that God had abundantly bestowed upon him? Is it his noble character, his affability and refinement, or is it the love and proximity we had shared? Or maybe it is the fusion which in the course of the years had occurred between us, which had harmonised our marriage into a unique unity, that had left me now entirely isolated, void and drained?! One or all of the above, or more. However, this gentleman is (and not was ) ... and will eternally remain to be the love of my life, my pride and my idol.
"How I need you by my side now", is the redundant sentence I keep addressing his photo, which instantly turns into a blurred reflection of his long-missed face, through my uncontrollable flowing tears.
Hosny Guindy is gone to a better place... but Hosny Guindy the legend remains and proudly, through his memory, and through his legacy, Al-Ahram Weekly. A legacy we all have to strive to preserve. "And, preserve we shall," says his long-life colleague, friend and disciple, Assem El-Kersh, now in charge of the paper, when he asked me to write this word of tribute. A responsibility well maintained by himself and by all of Hosny Guindy's beloved students in the Weekly journalistic academy, who he has incessantly referred to as "my team members... my dedicated and diligent staff, without whom Al-Ahram Weekly would have never existed." The position of the founder and editor-in-chief of the Weekly to Hosny Guindy was no post. It was a vocation -- a calling, through which he sought no personal glory, though he had devotedly struggled to achieve the best in the profession. In an unprecedented record, the Weekly, for the 13 years under his charge, was consistently commended by the Supreme Press Council, for not having committed a single infringement of the journalistic code of ethics; and thus Hosny Guindy had invested all his knowledge, ability, devotion, good manners and much sacrifice, in pursuit of excellence. He managed to achieve the impossible. He started the paper from scratch. His was a well earned merit. The proof is here at hand. A staff of journalists, well trained under his mentorship to follow in his footsteps and to maintain his legacy, not only for its readers, but also for him. He was their professor, tutor, mentor and teacher. They have always looked up to him as their friend and father figure. For them, he is their ever- remembered legend; Hosny Guindy whom they loved and still love beyond what words can never express.
As for myself, I will live to cherish every moment we had shared together, and when darkness overshrouds me, I know that when I lift up my eyes to the sky, Hosny will always be there as my shining star.