Sunday,23 September, 2018
Current issue | Issue 1142, 4 -10 April 2013
Sunday,23 September, 2018
Issue 1142, 4 -10 April 2013

Ahram Weekly

Successful tête à tête

Let’s talk about better living! Our new interactive family corner aims to expand our lifestyle horizons with practical little pearls of wisdom from the editor and input from our readers.

When we communicate with others and they misunderstand us, we tend to blame them instead of questioning whether we have somehow miscommunicated our message. But in reality, the onus is on the communicator to get the message across clearly, because every one of us, no matter how similar our experiences may be, has a unique perspective on life.


Here are the experts’ tips for improving your communication:

Respect other people’s model of the world: We all filter, delete and distort incoming information according to our unique model of the world, which is developed over a lifetime of experiences. Be open and accepting of the other person’s model of the world and you’ll soon become a more effective communicator.

Establish rapport: Building good rapport is the key to building trust in any relationship. Use your observation skills to sense whether or not you have established trust and rapport with whomever you are communicating with. If they are relaxed, comfortable and receptive, they’ll be more likely to receive your communication accurately. Do this by watching body language, hearing tone of voice, observing pace of breathing and watching eye movements. If you are out of rapport, adjust yourself or adjust your timing.

Learn and observe representational systems: Each of us has a preferred representational system for communicating. These systems are kinesthetic (“I feel that this will work”), visual (“I see what you mean”), auditory (“sounds good”) and olfactory/gustatory (“smells fishy”). We also communicate with ourselves all day, every day, through self-talk. Get to know someone else’s preferred system, and you can establish rapport with them quickly. Get to know your self-talk and you establish better rapport with yourself (your unconscious and conscious mind).

Speak the right language:Notice the way that someone structures his communication and you’ll get an idea of his model of the world. Then match his type of language, or even words, to communicate your meaning most effectively. For example, if someone is a “visual” communicator, use phrases like “look at it this way” or “we can see clearly that…” in order to get your message across effectively.

Gain knowledge of communicating: Everything you do, think, or say is a form of communication to your outside and internal world. Become more conscious of your body language, words and tonality, and you’ll begin to understand how you communicate well and how you need to improve.

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